


unexplainable decisions, unwarranted heartache

by orphan_account



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, F/M, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: They’ve always had a close friendship. She was always able to confide in him whenever she needed it the most and she felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable around. That dynamic changed however when Mia decided to complicate their friendship. Now, she doesn’t talk to Andrew about these things. Because she can’t.—or a missing scene between andrew and mia from the detention episode.
Relationships: Andrew Spencer/Mia Brooks, Mia Brooks/Andrew Spencer
Kudos: 10





	unexplainable decisions, unwarranted heartache

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to make this fic realistic. personally i felt like mia was struggling with her feelings for andrew while she was still with victor at times and i wanted to depict that through the writing. her feelings are overwhelmingly confusing because that’s how she feels.

Mia sighs exasperatedly in defeat before tucking away into her back pocket, her arms fold akimbo across her chest as she gnaws numbly on the plush skin of her inner cheek. Thoughts of apprehension careens through her as she recollects all of the recent instances of Victor’s absences.   
  
Mia has noticed the undeniable aloofness in his behavior, how he’s gotten seemingly better at making excuses in trying to avoid her. She knows that Victor isn’t doing it purposefully because though she’s only known him for a short while, one thing Mia was able to attest is that Victor has the biggest heart of anyone that she knows and that he would never do anything to hurt anyone’s feelings. 

Sure, those are a few characteristics that any girl would love their boyfriend to obtain; but lately Mia began to contemplate on if that was enough for her. She still cared about Victor, but she could feel him slowly pulling away from her. And it seemed as if she was the only one that was putting in any effort in trying to salvage their tainted relationship. He hadn’t even bothered to respond to any of her texts and the only time she heard his voice was through the receiving end of his voicemail message.   
  
Mia felt defeated, conflicted.   
  
Victor was her first official boyfriend and she wanted their relationship to work like she initially thought it would but now it seemed as if she was foolishly clinging onto false hope and chasing after someone who didn’t even want her anymore. 

Mia’s suddenly retracted from her pensive reverie by the sound of Andrew’s throaty chuckle. She narrows a scowl as she looks at him. “What’s so funny?” She questions, raising an accusatory brow.

Andrew chuckles lightly again, this time shaking his head and shrugging his shoulder half heartedly. She could see the corner of his lips curling upward in a roguish smirk. “Nothin’, it’s just you were doing that cute little face scrunch that you always do whenever something’s bothering you,” He says, the smirk still evident on his lips. 

“Was not.” She murmurs in a rebuttable defense, though it comes as no surprise that he was still able to detect the slightly shift is her idiosyncrasies and was able to notice that something was wrong.

Andrew has always been perceptive like that. Always knew when something was wrong with her before she would even say it aloud. It used to aggravatingly irritate her but now, she finds comfort knowing that he genuinely care about her feelings.   
  
Andrew nodded, “Yeah you were. So what’s up, what’s got you all down?” At this Mia falters slightly. While she did want to talk to someone about the current afflictions in her and Victor’s relationship, she didn’t want that person to be Andrew per say. She didn’t want to put him in that uncomfortable situation of hearing her emotionally venting about her boyfriend. 

Andrew, upon noticing Mia’s disquieted silence and the look of trepidation that marred her face, suddenly came to the realization. “Ah, it’s about Victor isn’t it?” He asks.   
  
For some reason unbeknownst to her, Mia feels guilty when she hears Andrew ask her that question. She doesn’t verbally answer, only bites on her bottom lip and quickly avert her eyes away from his smothering gaze. From her peripheral view, she could see Andrew nodding.   
  
He exhales a deep breath as he rubs a hand sheepishly against the back of his neck. “Do you, wanna, y’know, talk about it?” He catechizes with a genuine sincerity. Mia knows that he’s offering because he wants to be a good friend. His feelings for her aside, prior to Victor and before she foolishly complicated her relationship with him, Andrew had been the person Mia talked to when she couldn’t talk to Lake about certain things. 

They’ve always had a close friendship. She was always able to confide in him whenever she needed it the most and she felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable around. That dynamic changed however when Mia decided to complicate their friendship. Now, she doesn’t talk to Andrew about these things. Because she can’t. 

It just feels cruel to her, talking about her boyfriend to him given everything they’ve been through. So, albeit she appreciates his intentions when he offered that suggestion, Mia shakes her head declining his offer. 

“Uh, no. No that’s okay.” She says, tucking a loose curly piece of hair behind her ear. “Thanks, though.” 

Andrew smiles as he waved her off good naturedly, “It’s what friends do, right?” Mia’s heart swells at that sentiment. A feeling of residual guilt suddenly careens through the crevasses of her body.

When she and Andrew hooked up that night after the called him over on an emotional impulse, Mia was adamant on avoiding him and every discussing that night. She purposefully avoided him in the hallway any time she saw him in view and upheld an irate attitude towards him whenever he approached her.   
  
She was just compelled with chagrin by everything and that she allowed her erratic impulses to consume her and change the dynamic of their friendship. Mia did like Andrew prior to their hookup, sure he could be an asshole at times but he was also nurturing and one of the sweetest guys that she’d ever met.

So when she called him that night and he came over instantly to console her, all Mia could think about was how he was so considerate and caring of her feelings, and how he’d always been there to offer her solace anytime she needed it and next thing she knew, Mia’s mouth was wantonly pressed against Andrew’s soughting his lips in a passionate kiss.   
  
Of course with her emotions all over the place she was more than willing to do anything to subside that gnawing pain that was eating at her. So she allowed Andrew to help distract her. He was careful, gentle. Though it was kinda awkward and messy, it was still something the was glad to share with him, (contrary to what she tells herself in denial). 

But then afterwards, the realization hit and Mia was suddenly reminded of the egregious mistakes that she had just made. To prevent any awkwardness, Mia decides that it would be better to pretend that it never happened instead ever talking about it with anyone.   
  
She just so bad for how she used him as an escape. Mia knows, always knew that Andrew had harbored secret feelings of attraction for her and knowing that just made her feel even worse about it. 

But even through all that; the avoiding him in the halls and pretending that it never happened, Andrew still considered her a friend. She was grateful for that because she really had care deeply about him in many ways exceeding their friendship, even if she pretended that she didn’t sometimes.

Mia smiled softly as she nodded her head in agreement. “Yeah.” Her eyebrows knitted together in a confused furrow when she glanced around in search of Lake. “Where’s Lake and Felix?” She asked, noticing that they were no longer in sight. 

“I don’t know. They walked off somewhere while you were on the phone.” Andrew shrugged nonchalantly, gesturing vaguely in the opposite direction. He slid his hands in the slacks of his pockets as he proceed a step closer towards her. “I could drive you home if you want so you don’t have to wait for a Lyft.” He suggested, trying to maintain a causal facade but Mia could tell that he was timorously awaiting for her response.   
  
She sees another smile pulling at his lips when she responds, “Sure. I’d like that.” 

...

Mia’s perched in the passenger seat of Andrew’s car, the soft hymn of the radio plays in the background as they ride in a comfortable silence. Albeit her body’s slightly turned as she looks out the window, in the reflection she could see Andrew sneakily gazing over at her. 

Mia turns around in the seat and raises a questioning brow, waiting for him to speak. When he doesn’t take an initiative in doing so, she speaks first. “I saw you staring at me through the window. It looked like you wanted to ask me something.” 

The pallor of Andrew’s cheeks flushes in chagrin when he realizes that she’d caught him staring at her. He harrumphs softly as he bites down on his bottom lip in apprehension. His mouth parts open then quickly snaps shut after a moment’s hesitation. Andrew sighs defeatedly. 

Mia begins to worry at his aloof behavior. “What’s going on?” She inquisits.   
  
Andrew flick his gaze over to Mia, gauging the worried countenance that creased her facial features before eventually averting his eyes back to the road.

“Remember when I asked you if I was a nice guy and you said yes but only on the inside and not on the surface?” She nods silently. He continues, “Is that why you never gave me a real chance? Because I’m not a ‘nice guy’ like Victor?”   
  
Andrew absolutely _hates_ this, he hates that he sounds so insecure and jealous. Because to everyone on the outside, he was supposed to be this secure, popular jock that didn’t dwell over issues like this because he could have any girl that he wanted. But he wasn’t. He was jealous and confused and wanted to know why Mia chose to give Victor a chance but never officially gave him the opportunity of properly asking her out. He wanted to know what was it about Victor that made her want to be with him.   
  
Mia parts her mouth open, but no coherent words come out. She snapped her mouth close in hesitation. It’s not like she didn’t ever harbor any romantic feelings for him because she did. She always like Andrew. He was handsome and very charismatic.   
  
Part of her always hoped that one day, their friendship would inevitably transition into a developing relationship. But then, she blundered that opportunity when she mistakenly allowed her emotions to conquer which resulted in the change of their dynamic. Andrew had no problem in acting like nothing about them changed, but to Mia _everything_ changed.

She never thought she would’ve been that girl who used people to numb her emotions. Anytime she looked at him she just felt this residing guilt eating at her. It wasn’t fair to Andrew, she knows, but it was how she felt.   
  
“Wow, I guess I got my answer then.” Andrew mutters sullenly when she doesn’t respond. 

“Wha–no, Andrew. It’s not like that, I promise.” She quickly assures him, resting her hand on his free one. At this sudden touch, Andrew’s face falters slightly, confusion creases the features on his face. 

“Well what _is_ it like then?”

 _Easier_. She thinks, but that’s a lie because nothing about her relationship with Victor has been easy, especially with the way he’s been purposefully avoiding her recently.   
  
“I don’t feel guilty when I’m with Victor.” She answers truthfully, much to Andrew’s dismay. “I like him a lot, you know and he’s funny. I like you too Andrew, I never stopped liking you. But—” She paused mid-sentence and sighed exasperatedly, shaking her head. She didn’t want to say what she really felt because in all honesty she still felt conflicted about this whole ordeal herself. 

Part of her does wonder what it would’ve been like if they hadn’t danced around their feelings for one another and developed their relationship the proper way instead of putting the sexual aspect first, but nonetheless it was of no use. 

She was in a relationship with someone she truly adored. She couldn’t allow her apprehensive feelings about Andrew cloud her judgement. Especially not now when she was already dealing with so much drama with Victor.   
  
“I’m with Victor now. We can’t keep doing this, you can’t keep doing this. Bringing up the ‘what if’s’. It’s too late. But I still want us to be friends, good friends. Like we were before everything happened.” She says, and her heart breaks a little when she says these words because albeit she does mean them it still hurt like hell to keep those residual feelings dormant.   
  
And Mia sees the same pain inflicted on Andrew’s face as well as he hears her words of rejection. He nods his head, indicating that he understood and accepted her decision. And while yeah, it hurt like fucking hell knowing that he would have to continue seeing Mia and Victor walking down the halls hand-in-hand parading their public displays of affection towards each other, Andrew also knew that it was better to have Mia as a friends rather than not having her in his life at all.   
  
He could settle with them being friends. He wanted to repair their relationship and prove to her that he willing to be there for her in any way possible.   
  
It takes him a while to fully collect his wandering thoughts but eventually he nods again as he glanced a quick look over at her. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Mia asked, surprised that he was willing to accept her decision so easily without even a rebuttal.   
  
“Yeah I’ll be your friend. I’ll be whatever you need me to be, Mia.” Andrew says with a imbued sincerity, causing her to smile softly at his sentiment. 


End file.
